Becoming Existent
by Smurfy-kins
Summary: Jenny can't remember anything. She wakes up in a hospital bed surrounded by unfamiliar faces, she runs away and tries to discover everything from nothing. But the more she finds out about her past, the more she wishes she could have stayed oblivious...
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, so Lily and James are going to come in later in the story (they'll first appear in about the 5****th**** or 6****th**** chapter) and that's why they're the characters, this story will include their relationship straight out of Hogwarts and their marriage. Sorry if that confused you but I couldn't think of any other characters to have it as. Enjoy.**

**Becoming Existent- Chapter 1**

There is nothing. I am lying in nothing, truth be told I can't be entirely sure if I'm lying at all, I could be sitting or standing, leaning or crouching etcetera etcetera. I don't even know if I'm actually here or if I'm just a lonely spirit wandering the lands hoping to come across something, anything that will help me get back to my former state. I don't know how I came to be here or how, if ever, I will escape this conscious yet unconscious state that I have found myself in. Have I just woken up? Or does my mind forget what I have thought prior every few seconds, minutes hours or days, like a reset button which I subconsciously press at a certain time interval. How long have I been here in this place so barren and full of nothingness? I try and open my eyes, to see if this place is just the darkness where the sun does not reach behind my eye lids. It is not. I realise that I cannot move, I attempt to twist and turn but it seems that something is holding me down; something is preventing me from the use of my limbs. My muscles are not under my control, they are not my own but rather like a television that's been put on stand by, still wanting to work but being forced not to.

Then, suddenly a excruciating pain infiltrates my system, it's pure agony like each of my muscles, my limbs anything attached in the slightest to my nerves system is being stabbed repetitively with white hot iron rods. Crude blunt weapons which don't slice cleanly but more tear a huge gaping hole in my very existence, I open my mouth in an attempt to scream, trying to rid my system of this pain but no sound emerges from my lips. The pain increasing and I see a light, not like the soft light at the end of the tunnel, nor the welcoming light into heaven, both of those I would have much rather endured, but this light, no, this light was screaming at me, making it's presence clear, I try to shut my eyes, to get some relief from this terrible demon but I can retrieve no such pleasure. It burns me, it's intruding into my mind, into that space in my head where no-one else has been and should ever go. The place that is all mine, my deepest darkest secrets, the one's that I've never told anyone. The light is taking over, I attempt to scream again, this time with more avail, a piercing sound comes from my mouth, one which I didn't even know that I was capable of creating. The light retreats, it seems to take me with it, but I don't want to leave, to go into the unknown however it's clear that I have little choice in the matter.

"I think that I just saw her move, I'm sure of it Tracey, did you see anything Dorcas?" An annoying voice with an American twang says quickly, I can hear but see nothing. "No Barbra, she didn't move, the sensors would have picked it up." Another voice, English accent I think, speaks up from my right.

To see if I can move I try to lift my arm, I manage to but simultaneously two things happen. One, pain shoots through my arm like electrical volts causing me to wince and squeeze my eyes shut and two, a sound like a car alarm goes off right above my head. Trying to ignore the pain I slowly lift my hands to cover my ears in a pathetic attempt to block out some of the invading noise.

"She's awake!" The annoying American to my left screams.

I can't stand the darkness any longer, my eyes snap open and I take in what I see before me.

I'm lying on a plain white bed which I recognise as one in a hospital, people in white coats are surrounding me, one of them reaches up and presses a button which turns off the alarm. They're all talking at once so I can't make out what any of them are saying. A women, quite plump with sandy brown hair makes her way towards my bed, she's dressed in normal clothes, a red hoodie and faded blue jeans. I'd say that she's about 48. She hugs me and I flinch away,

"Honey? What's wrong?" She asks beaming, I recognise her as the English one.

I don't reply, who is this woman?

"Jenny? Can you hear me?" One of the women in the white coats asks me. I nod.

"Great, okay honey, do you think that you can talk to us?" I shake my head.

"Okay that's fine, don't worry about it. Now, do you know who this woman is?"

"Of course she knows who I am I'm her-" The woman in normal clothes starts but when I shake my head she stops talking. "What?! But she's my baby! My Jen-Jen, why can't she remember? Why?!" The woman starts to scream and tears leak out of the corner of her eyes.

"I'm sorry Dorcas, she might take some time." The woman in white says.

Then I realise, I do not know who any of the people in this room are, I do not know where I am, but most importantly I do not know who I am, I search in my mind for something, anything that will give me some indication of me of who I am or who I once was. But there is nothing, my mind freezes, who am I if I cannot remember anything of my existence? What do I do?

I scream and the world once again goes black.

**This chapter's kind of short; if you like them longer then please say so in a review. Oh yup, and please please please review and subscribe :)**

**Much Love**

**xXx**


	2. Chapter 2

**Becoming Existent- Chapter 2**

It really is quite peculiar that the place most people fear, the darkness that fills peoples nightmares is the place where now I feel most comfortable, it's like a sanctuary, no-one can see what anyone else is like, what they're doing. I suppose that this is the factor that scares people most, visions of people sneaking up behind them and causing them bodily harm, that's what makes them shiver. But I, I don't run from it, I embrace it, using it to my advantage, hiding in the shadows of rooms being not seen nor heard. I don't know how long it's been since I passed out, but straight away I found myself back in my world, in the place where I feel safe, in the darkness. Then something both strange, frightening and interesting started to happen. I started to have flashbacks, they were of nothing in particular, I still don't know my name, though I'm sure that I heard someone say it was something like Jay, I'm not sure why I'm in hospital or who the people around me were. I do however know that I'm 18 years old and have recently graduated from Beauxbatons academy, I'm a witch, but I don't think that I really forgot that, the feeling was still there. My best friend is called Abigail but she moved away to Australia to become a muggle healer, I'm fully aware of what objects are, however I don't know what is happening in today's world. I seem to remember all these insignificant little things but nothing of real importance, they piece together my life since I left school however, something is telling me that it's currently July and I graduated school last June, so what have I been doing with my life in the past year? That's what I really want to find out.

Suddenly I'm awake, I'm fully aware that I didn't make this decision for myself or I would have had some warning, it seems that I don't get the pleasure to prepare these days.

"Jenny?" The women in the white coat pocketed her wand. "Are you feeling okay? You gave us quite the scare there, you've been sleeping for 3 days. I had to wake you up with magic. Do you think that you can try and speak for me?"

I opened my mouth and tried to force my larynx to do what it was created for, I croaked.

"Well that's an improvement I suppose. Now," She says placing a pencil and plain paper in front of me. "Could you please write something, just to make sure that you can." How stupid does this person think I am? I can just use my wand fo- where's my wand?! I need it! My eyes start to frantically ficker around the sall room attempting to seek out the one thing important to me in my current situation, I gesture a wand to the white coat woman in the best way I can, she just stands there with a stupid confused look on her face. I get the pencil and write, _Where is my wand? I want it now, I don't feel right without it." _ I hand to note to her and she laughs and pulls my ebony wand out of her pocket, I breathe a sigh of relief and begin to write in the air with it.

_I've been having flashbacks, I am now fully aware of everything that happened until I graduated from Beauxbatons, but I don't know how I got here or anything that's happened in the past year. Could you please tell me why I'm in a hospital bed?_

" Well I'm very glad that you know what's been happening, so far you're on the road to recovery, I'll tell you why you're in here another day, I don't want to distress you. Your' mother is waiting outside and would like to see you, is that okay?"

_I don't know who my mother is, I have no recollection of her._

"I see," And with that she departed, but not before shouting over her shoulder, "I've left you a bag of your personal belongings, it's at the bottom of the bed, it might make you feel more at home or maybe even trigger more flashbacks."

Thank god, I need some normality, maybe my phone's there. I shuffle to the end of the bed and see my faded blue Marc Jacobs slough bag. I sigh, I do love that bag, I delve into it, searching for the device that will connect me to the world again. I pull out my phone and look at the screen, 47 new messages and 123 missed calls, how long have I been here? I sift through the new messages, they start at, _Where are you? I need you to come back from the mall and help me peel the carrots love mam, X._

And go all the way to, _I hope that you get better Jenny, I'm really missing you and it pisses me off that people keep on giving me sympathetic looks on the street, what happened with you is all over the news, I really miss you and hope that you wake up soon, Abbi. xXx_

The latter was just sent yesterday, it seemed that Abbi had been texting me at least every other day, I feel so guilty about leaving her, maybe she can give me some answers, I type out.

_Guess who? I woke up I think it was 4 days ago but then conked out again until today, I've just been given my bag and I've read through all the texts, I'm so sorry for putting you through all of this Abbi, but hey, I'm awake now! Could you please tell me why I'm in here, my nurse says that she will soon but I highly doubt it, and what are the newspapers saying? Please reply quickly, I really need you right now. Lots of love, Jenny._

I press send and feel a tear run down the side of my face, making a path for many more to come, at least I might get some answers now, I hope.

I try to sleep but don't seem to be able to, I want to drift off into a peaceful slumber and forget everything, actually that was a pretty bad choice of word. I go back to my bag and rummage around in it, finally I find my ipod, another thing that I love. I find my sleepy play list and shove the earphones in my ears, I get a brief flashback of my dad telling me to never sleep with my earphones in because they'll choke me. However now I can rarely get to sleep without the soothing sound of music, I nuzzle into my pillow and let the sweet sound of Yiruma lull me to sleep.

I'm in a dark place, but this isn't one of my dark places, this isn't a nice dark place but one of the reasons people fear the nothingness. I look around, not liking this dream. Then suddenly a pair of red eyes burst out from the darkness, I try to turn away but they're everywhere I look, just looking at me, staring at me never moving never looking away. They're past present and future, everything I see and think of, I hear no sound apart from my own screaming

I wake up continuing my scream.

**I know that there wouldn't have been ipods and phones back then or Yiruma but so. Hope that you liked it and please review and subscribe.**

**Much Love**

**xXx**


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